I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
