Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
