And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
