Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
