Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
