I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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