it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
