You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
