i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
