we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
