I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
