Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
