is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
