my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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