i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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