sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
