forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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