I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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