Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We need to feng shui this bitch.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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