Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
