..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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