I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
