mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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