We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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