Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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