dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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