piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
