If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
