Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
This can only be settled by a dance off.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
