We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
