new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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