you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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