I am spending my child support on dildos
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
