It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
