So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
