I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
