I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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