If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
