508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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