Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
