He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
