whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
barbara walters just said penis...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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