glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
