Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
