I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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