so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Randomize
