pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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