that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
