I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
