bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
