She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
