Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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